by Jesse Ian Lardies
Hola and welcome home, family to a lime, culantro and balut scented edition of the Philippines’ 56th most popular mid-afternoon, loosely food-themed pugilistic paper, The Sunday Brunch – We are to basil and golden beef broth what extra Italian sausage and six different kinds of cheese are to your bi-weekly pizza habit. We’re chopping up the Pacquiao – Bradley rematch and some other rumblings from around the sport, so listen to your neighbor’s rooster crow incessantly beginning at 3:30am every morning, we’re about to start the show. With that being said, I gave you your instructions in the dressing room, what I say you must obey – Cuidate, escucha me, toca los manos y buena suerte…Let’s get it on!
On Saturday night, live from Las Vegas, Manny Pacquiao once again defeated Timothy Bradley, this time also winning on the official score cards. The 35 year-old Pac Man may have lost some of his wondrous power and lauded speed, but that didn’t stop him from looking a lot like his old vintage self in spots. The hyper-muscled Bradley appeared to put on a tremendous effort for the first half of the fight until ultimately losing a bit of steam (apparently due to a calf injury) and fighting with his arms down and mouth mostly open down the stretch during their quite excellent second encounter.
Tim Bradley could’ve probably overwhelmed quite a few welterweights (especially with his decent body work) on Saturday evening with his athletic, ‘Provodnikovy’ style. Pacquiao’s experience, angles and footwork kept him honest enough, though. And you have to give it to Bradley, he’s one of the only fighters who can get knocked bass ackwards into the ropes off of a hard shot (or a series of…) and not have it called a knockdown –See also: Ruslan Provodnikov versus Timothy Bradley.
I just can’t wait for the collective breath of boxing forums and chat rooms to call for the head of Floyd Mayweather again. Sweet sounds of “Flomo” and “Pactard” dance through my head when I think about the repetitive and redundant cries of “fear” and “ducking” that officially start to fly after either one of these guys has a big fight. Spurring along these chants will of course be Manny Pacquiao’s answers to obligatory questions of when he will be facing Mayweather…
“The line is open 24 hours, seven days a week” the eight division world champion would state late Saturday night. Also maintaining the well-trod line of “I will fight whoever my promoter puts in front of me” which is obviously a contradiction of terms. Pacquiao’s promoter, Bob Arum is notorious for non-stop talking about Floyd Mayweather as a possible opponent for his star charge until we find out it’s really been a list of two guys the whole time and Mayweather was never in consideration. Even so, Arum has still made the ridiculous call for Boxing Scene to have an article stating that he’ll make the Pacquiao – Mayweather fight when fans boycott Floyd’s PPV fight on May 3rd against Argentine, Marcos Maidana.
So, who’s next for Bradley now and what is on the agenda for Pacquiao you ask? Well, the likely scenario that will unfold will be Pacquiao getting the winner of Mike Alvarado and Juan Manuel Marquez. With “Mile High” Mike, an entertaining fight could develop between himself and the Filipino fireball, if Alvarado isn’t overwhelmed and defeated by Marquez, that is. With Juan Manuel Marquez we pretty much know what we’re going to get when he fights Pacquiao (scoring aside).
Speaking about knowing what to expect…
Ricky Hatton’s mother was always ringside when he fought, I’m wondering now what would have happened if she knew Filipino voodoo, too…Or, what if BOTH Manny Pacquiao and Ricky Hatton’s mothers were ringside and BOTH doing their respective magical practices, how would that fight have played out then, smart guy? Surely with Manny wearing shoes made of golden, deep fried cod fish and Hatton’s gloves turning into bowls of pho noodle soup.
In other nonsense…
Slightly prior to the fight starting, a Tweet from the WBC’s official account read something like this: “Remember, in the sweet science, fights aren’t scored by who threw and landed the most punches, but by who scored the harder shots…” Uhh, huh? That was kind of out of nowhere, WBC…
I still don’t know why so many people couldn’t grasp the notion of Erislandy Lara waiting for the official nod from Canelo Alvarez to pull out of the Ishe Smith fight. I gave up telling people that the Cuban wouldn’t be interested in having two tough bouts so close to one and another.
That’s all for us this week, team. Join us next Sunday when we talk about the biggest fights and how the participant’s win and loss records and ratios affect the sport. Also, how are we going about learning Manny’s mom’s passionate, traditional Filipino voodoo routine? On tap as well, we discuss the inner most workings of a real Pokemon tournament and how the outcomes can affect our favorite professional prize fighters..And pudding! Until next time, santé.
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