Notes from the Boxing Underground: Freak Shows, Freaks, Geeks, and a Bronze Bomber

Hello and welcome to another Notes from the Boxing Underground, hosted here at The Boxing Tribune for the time being.

Here’s a little bit of what crossed my path this past boxing week.

– There are very few sure things in life. Birds will sing…The sun will shine…Mike Coppinger will suck Turki Alalshikh’s hairy toes…and Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. will turn in a disappointing effort.

Saturday night at the Honda Center in Anaheim, Jake Paul continued on with his traveling sideshow, setting up his tent in another town for yet another “biggest test so far” against a guy without much of a chance of winning.

The 39-year-old Chavez Jr. did, however, have a chance of closing down the Paul carny show– as evidenced by the success he had in the last two rounds, when he actually threw punches– he just didn’t care enough to try before it was too late.

Paul would walk away with the 10-round decision victory by scores of 97-93, 98-92, and 99-91. The Boxing Tribune scored the fight 98-92 for Paul.

If one didn’t know better, you could’ve almost cried “fix” after seeing the second-generation star rock the influencer/promoter/novice boxer fairly easily after eight rounds of letting himself be walked down. Except, those familiar with boxing’s favorite lazy nepo baby have seen variations of the same half-ass effort all throughout his career.

It’s unfortunate that a guy who did have promise at one point, has probably only turned in a dozen or so fully-actualized rounds over the course of a 62-fight pro career. But Jr. is what he is.

And, on the flip side, Jake Paul is who HE is.

He HAS improved, but he’s still fighting at a novice level and he still doesn’t take real punches well. If that Canelo fight had gone through, he would’ve been scrambled.

But, to be fair, the 28-year-old Paul is now just 13 fights into his pro career with no amateur background. Terence Crawford, in his 13th pro fight, was taking on Anthony Mora on an undercard at the Heartland Events Center in Nebraska. Saul “Canelo” Alvarez was fighting Jesus Abel Hernandez at a Mexican party hall in his 13th fight. So, some perspective is needed before dumping on the infinitely dumpable “Problem Child.”

Personally, I’m fine with Jake Paul existing in the same boxing ecosphere as true, elite-level fighters doing true elite-level things. I actually get a kick out of how much the guy pisses off the curmudgeonly boxing “purists,” who would ride the sport into a tomb if they had their way. As I wrote in last Thursday’s Mail Sack: “[A Jake Paul fight] is what it is– meaningless fluff to occupy an evening while you wait on better things.”

– There’s something diabolically twisted about a man like Ariel Helwani, who worked the Paul-Chavez Jr. card, choosing to shave his head despite having a full noggin of thick hair.

Guys like me go with the shaved look out of necessity, compensating for a bald patch on top and/or a receding hairline. Having a thick, uninterrupted mane, but choosing to shave yourself bald is like choosing to use a walker despite having no leg or back injury.

I knew there was something that rubbed me the wrong way about Helwani. Well, aside from his smarmy attitude, “for sale” journalistic ethics, and his ability to fall ass-backwards into paid boxing gigs despite knowing almost nothing about the sport and having open disdain for boxing fans.

– Speaking of disdain…

Long-time boxing/MMA writer Kevin Iole announced his retirement on Friday, apparently giving up his years-long push to land a gig as a UFC publicist or Dana White personal fluffer.

Iole has a long history in this combat sports media business and, also, a corresponding long history of doing really shitty things to fuck with colleagues he either perceives as a threat to his status or who’ve somehow hurt his feelings. The stories are coming out from a few colleagues as Iole’s career has now officially died after years of going out with a whimper. So, I guess this is as good a time as any to share mine.

Back many, many years ago, I worked for something called the Yahoo Contributors Network (or something like that). It was basically a minor league for future Yahoo content creators. Well, the bossmen there took a liking to me (and my page views) and moved me onto the Yahoo main stage whenever possible.

I was making good money, getting a shit-ton of exposure for someone just starting out in the business. And when feature writer Iole went on vacation, the Yahoo Boxing main page became almost exclusively mine, with me getting top story placement in all but one of the days he was gone.

The editor was raving about the “new direction” I was taking the page. I got a raise and a promise that they would find a place for me somewhere on the permanent Yahoo staff. I even won the Yahoo Contributor of the Month award (and accompanying Yahoo laptop case).

Then Iole came back from vacation.

Suddenly, “someone” pitched a fit about me, leaned on the bossmen, and I immediately went from “Contributor of the Month” to unemployed, with no reason given for the dismissal. In a twist of delicious irony, my laptop case prize arrived the same day I got the email letting me go. A couple of years later, I crossed online paths with my old editor and he told me that it was Iole who pitched the fit that got me canned.

This would probably be considered heresay, but I see no reason why my old editor would lie to me. Plus, the story does kind of sync with what I’ve been hearing about the guy for years now.

So, fuck Iole. I hope he rots in his fart-infused slacks and sour shoes, with never enough money to satisfy any of his (allegedly) weirdo fetishes.

Okay, back to boxing…

– Deontay Wilder had his comeback fight on Friday, stopping the hapless Tyrrell Herndon in seven rounds.

Fighting in the bustling boxing hotbed of Wichita, Kansas, Wilder looked about as well as could be expected from someone who hasn’t fought in a year and hasn’t won in nearly three years, matched against an opponent who had no plan to win and wouldn’t even open up to lose right.

It’s really next to impossible to get a read on Wilder’s state of being from a fight like this. Wilder won. He didn’t look too sloppy. He remained upright. But it was all against an opponent who, per Compubox, threw only 85 punches in seven rounds and landed only 5 power punches the whole night (and whose most prominent fight up until Friday was a two-round KO loss to Richard Torrez in 2023).

But, people, we should’ve seen enough already. Wilder is done. He’s shot. There’s no coming back from where he’s been. Sure, there’s big money in an Anthony Joshua fight or in an Oleksandr Usyk title shot or in a Francis Ngannou fantasy scrap, But there’s also something to be said for being able to play with your grandchildren with a fully intact brain or being able to tie your own shoes beyond the age of 50.

Boxing was better with Deontay in it, but the boxing has been beaten out of Deontay. It’s time to retire.

– It should be pretty clear at this point, by the way, that DAZN really doesn’t give a fuck about maintaining any sort of reasonable consumer-friendly business model. The company that once based an entire ad campaign on “PPV is Dead” is now putting pretty much every halfway decent show behind a pay-per-view paywall. Saturday’s Jake Paul-Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. show was the first of three PPVs slated for a three-week span.

Who remembers this beauty from #DAZN PPV is dead they said… including Canelo on the footage 😂. @EddieHearn @joemarkowski @DAZNBoxing #boxing pic.twitter.com/qlcMHbDduE

— Rui Amorim (@mr_ruiamorim) November 24, 2021

At this point, you really have to wonder about the common sense of boxing consumers who are paying $20-$30 per month for what is essentially now just a platform for peddling pay-per-view shows.

Oh yeah, and a special “Eat Shit, DAZN” for the continued shady practice of being intentionally vague about whether a show is a PPV or not, until the last possible date.

– Turki Alalshikh recently announced that he had signed a Devin Haney-Brian Norman Jr. WBO welterweight title bout for November in Riyadh.

I’m not going to lie, it’s an intriguing matchup. But as I commented on Twitter/X (@Boxing_Tribune): “Any ‘big’ American fight shoved off to Saudi Arabia may as well be buried in a hole…It does nothing for the sport…Pure empty calories…”

Taking place at an odd hour, likely behind a PPV paywall, with no actual fans in attendance, this fight might as well be happening in Turki’s living room.

Got something for Magno? Send it here: paulmagno@theboxingtribune.com