What a night at MVP’s Most Valuable Prospects 7, where the fights resembled less of a competitive sport and more of an orchestrated slaughterhouse. Each bout ended in a knockout, shocking absolutely no one, because why have a fair fight when you can have a guaranteed floor show?
The main event featured Jan Paul Rivera, who might as well have been shadowboxing for all the resistance Justin Goodson offered. Rivera dispatched Goodson with such ease, you’d think he was swatting a particularly annoying fly rather than competing against a professional boxer.
From the opening bell, Rivera controlled the pace and direction of the fight, executing his strategy with the poise of a seasoned veteran. His ability to read his opponent and adapt was impressive. The brutal right hook that sent Justin Goodson to the canvas was a clear testament to Rivera’s striking accuracy and raw power ending the fight via TKO that surprised absolutely no one.
The co-main event wasn’t much of an improvement. Dainier Pero turned James Evans into a human punching bag, hammering him into submission as if he were tenderizing meat rather than fighting an actual opponent. The crowd watched, half-bored, half-horrified, as Pero pounded Evans into the canvas multiple times, making everyone wonder if the matchmakers just drew names out of a hat when setting up these bouts.
David Garcia’s fight, if you can call it that, lasted a whopping 43 seconds—just long enough for him to pummel Domincc Hardy into submission and not long enough for fans to finish their beers. Garcia’s victory speech was indeed longer than his fight, a feat that required more stamina than he displayed in the ring.
Sean Mason, not wanting to break the evening’s theme of overkill, dismantled Thomas Guillemette with the enthusiasm of a man demolishing a building slated for implosion. Each punch was less a display of skill and more an overt display of overkill, ending with Guillemette on the canvas.
Jake Paul and Nakisa Bidarian crowed about the night’s “spectacular” fights, seemingly unaware that the only thing spectacular was the audience’s patience in sitting through a series of foregone conclusions. They promised more such events, because apparently, what the world needs now is more predictable pugilism.