Hola familia y amigos, welcome to a tarragon, thyme and full-fat butter flavored edition of Central America’s highest rated weekly pugilistic paper, The Sunday Brunch – We are the single spear of asparagus that your waiter arrogantly informs you is the “salad of asparagus” you ordered. This week we are hitting on a few of the more pressing issues from around the sport, we’ll be touching on Walking Dead news, and we will be rounding out all the flavors with a bonus recipe to seal the deal. Stop sending me emails about how handsome Chris Algieri is and delete your Boxingscene malware before your wife gets home, we’re about to start the show. With that being said, I gave you your instructions in the dressing room; what I say you must obey – Cuidate, escucha me, toca los manos y buena suerte…Let’s get it on!
Shannon “The Cannon” Briggs is at it again, this time with a (definitely not staged) video of him somehow pursuing heavyweight champion, Wladimir Klitschko – who was just enjoying a leisurely day of standup paddleboarding – to issue yet another challenge and to recite his new mantra “Everywhere you go, I go!”. I did notice, however, that this time he didn’t say “Everything you do, I do”. I am guessing that he had some problems keeping his balance on a paddleboard prior to the filming of this little gem. Things do get quite comical in this video, as the wake from Briggs’ boat eventually knocks the champion off his board and into the drink.
There is now zero doubt in my mind that we are headed towards a Briggs – Klitschko showdown, which is fine by me. It’s either watch Wladimir beat up on pizza makers you haven’t heard of, or other similar no-hopers, or have him beat up on Shannon Briggs. At least I will enjoy Briggs second thrashing at the hands of a Klitschko that much more.
It is like when Dereck Chisora got pummeled by older brother, Vitali. You knew he had absolutely no chance, but the Brit hillariously spat water into the face of Wladimir and smacked Vitali Klitschko at the weigh in…and let’s not forget about when David Haye timelessly smashed a bottle into the awaiting maw of Chisora – It just makes things more interesting and entertaining, whether they have a shot in hell or not.
Speaking about heavyweights for a moment, Anthony Joshua, the former Olympian that has Brits around the globe drooling en masse, had his ninth professional prizefight, picking up a vacant WBC trinket in the process (who leaves those things lying around, anyway?).
The Hertfordshire born and raised lad has a solid right hand and decent, probing jab. He is still fighting guys who, while experienced, are physically out-gunned and pose little threat to the 6’6″ monster. Joshua’s next bout has already been scheduled, a walk-over against Michael Sprott, who has lost more times than he has won.
What strikes me is that many people are quick to dismiss “Bronze Bomber”, Deontay Wilder, but will place Anthony Joshua several leagues ahead of the more experienced American. In my eyes, they’re both Olympian medalists with solid fundamentals and heavy hands. They have both found success inside the squared circle against limited opposition and will likely fight fringe contenders until a massive payday can be secured. Keeping nationalistic pride out of the picture, I fail to see the difference in these two goliaths.
Being that Deontay Wilder is now 32-0, 32 KOs and is gradually (hey, I said gradually, OK?) stepping up his level of competition (with the exception of friends who may or may not have been paid for…), I’d wager dollars to pesos that the Alabama Black Snake’s career will see greater heights. Yes, Joshua is still very green in the pro ranks, but given the state of the heavyweight division, I will say that fighting exclusively overseas could be a detriment to the young giant – if that’s the direction his team takes him in.
I would like to see former fighter, David Haye possibly take on Joshua sometime in the near future for British heavyweight bragging rights – if he does decide to step inside the ring again. Obviously, bouts involving the world heavyweight champion would be interesting, as would any of the aforementioned boxers facing Deontay Wilder, sooner rather than later.
As promised, I’m going to clue you in on a little sauce that is quite simple to make, but will transform your dining experience like you won’t believe. This is a two-pronged attack, as one sauce easily transitions into another.
Hollandaise sauce is dead simple to make and goes fantastically with eggs…After you learn it, adding a simple concoction to it will make it pair stunningly with nearly every cut of beef or potato dish.
Take one pound of butter (unsalted) and place it over low heat to melt. Crack seven eggs and separate the whites from the yolks, reserving the whites for other things you may need (omelettes, meringues, etc). Next take your bowl of seven yolks and add 1 tablespoon of water, 2 tablespoons of worcestershire sauce, 4 tablespoons of Louisiana hot sauce and the juice of one lemon.
Wisk that mixture well and place over a double boiler, whisking constantly, about five minutes, until a thickened, slightly reduced custard is achieved. Grab your melted butter (making sure it isn’t hot to the touch, warm is fine) and slowly incorporate the two, whisking all the while. If your sauce begins to break and whisking rapidly doesn’t bring it back together, you can add in an ice cube or two to save it.
Once you have a nice, homogeneous mixture you have hollandaise! Use this at breakfast on everything your heart and cholesterol levels will allow. To take things to another level, grab a shallow pan and throw in three diced shallots, red wine vinegar and a few tablespoons of tarragon. Let the mixture simmer for five minutes and reduce slightly, then cool. Add in two heaping tablespoons into your hollandaise and you now have bearnaise sauce – a true classic. Add this to your steak and mash potatoes along with a little beef/veal or mushroom gravy and thank me later.
Thanks for joining us again this week, don’t forget to tune it to AMC for the relaunching of The Walking Dead tonight! Please send all recipe questions/hate mail regarding my stance on Anthony Joshua or Devon Alexander’s giant head to JESSEBOXINGTRIBUNE@GMAIL.COM and pretend that we know each other on Twitter @JESSEBOXING. Until next time, sante!