Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson Is A “Bro Culture” Con

Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson is a stupid, meaningless fluff fight. And that’s alright. Boxing history is full of gimmick matches, both “real” and exhibition.

But bringing a 58-year-old, 19-year-retired man into the ring, whose last significant win came during the Clinton administration, makes things a little bit different– especially with that man talking up a near-death health scare that occurred just about four months ago.

As most know, Tyson had to move off the original July date for his Netflix-aired Jake Paul fight due to some vague stomach issue. What people didn’t know was how serious that issue was.

“I was training and I was doing great,” Tyson recalled. “Then all of a sudden I started feeling kind of tired and I was explaining to my trainer, ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me’.

“Coming here from Miami on the plane I went to the bathroom, and I threw up blood, next thing I know I’m on the floor and I was defecating tar. So, I came here [to the hospital] and they found out I had a big ulcer two-and-a-half inches and it’s bleeding. All of my friends were calling me like I’m dying.

“I asked the doctor if I’m going to die and she didn’t say no, she said, ‘We have options, though’ and that’s when I got nervous. I can’t wait to get out of this motherf***er man, I want to fight and get back to training.

“I don’t want to die in a hospital bedroom, I want to die in the ring.”

That’s not exactly a feel-good closing statement for regulatory stiffs who don’t want to be canned for aiding and abetting the killing of a sports icon.

The bout, held at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas falls under the supervision of The Texas Department of Licensing and Regulation (TDLR). And, despite a long-standing reputation as one of the absolute weakest combat sports commissions in the nation, they were smart enough to install a back door for potentially getting out of this prickly situation.

According to reports, TDLR-appointed physicians will examine Tyson the day before the November 15 fight and assess whether he’s fit to be licensed for what’s scheduled to be an officially sanctioned on-the-record boxing match. Assuming Tyson’s near-death story– one where he also claims to have had multiple blood transfusion– is true, the TDLR has been aware of the gravity of the situation for quite some time and has chosen to possibly err on the side of losing the “realness” of the fight, but keeping the event.

How could the regulatory suits NOT raise an eyebrow to a fight like this, under these conditions? And how could the event organizers NOT know that adults in the proverbial room may find objection with a pairing like this?

If all reports are accurate, it’s doubtful that Paul-Tyson will hit the ring as anything other than an exhibition. The TDLR stepping in to remove the “real fight” seal of approval would save the promotion from the wrath of public opinion– and possibly some Netflix wrath– to a large extent. After all, the downgrade will be “the commission’s fault.” If the doctors force it into being an exhibition at the last minute, how can anyone complain because it’s “in the interest of a legend’s safety?”

All of this begs the question of whether the plan, all along, was to have this fight be an exhibition and whether all these months of macho posturing was just empty salesmanship for a fight that was never really going to be a fight.

Paul-Tyson is already being contested under, essentially, women’s boxing rules with eight two-minute rounds and oversized gloves. The move from “real” to exhibition wouldn’t require much of a jump backwards at all. It could be argued that even if it goes through as an on-the-record sanctioned match, it will be more work than shoot (using pro-wrestling parlance for “fake” and “real”).

At the end of the day, this fight may turn out to be just a “Bro Culture” con by one of the leaders of the “Bro Culture” renaissance, Jake Paul. It would be yet another case of privileged “Bros” conning the public with loud talk and eye-catching antics into buying some BS that, ultimately, serves no purpose beyond padding the “Bro’s” own bank account. It will be the boxing equivalent of guys like Joe Rogan and Theo Van (and Jake Paul, actually) selling Donald Trump. It’ll be entitled men using their privilege and platform to hard-sell what’s in their own best interest without ever having to concern themselves with accountability or blowback of any kind.

But being hustled by a “Bro” would probably be the best possible consequence of Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson.

A 58-year-old man with health issues facing a seemingly pumped-to-the-gills 27-year-old in a “real” fight could make for some bad, bad things.