Madcow’s Standing 8 Count (5/17/09)

Hello Everyone! It’s another edition of Madcow’s Standing 8 Count featuring James Kirkland’s least favorite shooting buddy, Me! I wonder way Kirkland hasn’t been on the range lately?

To say that this week has been a slow news week is like saying that your beloved Madcow likes his Jack and Water cold and strong…Duh! Other than Andre Ward finally acting like a real prospect and Edison Miranda quickly working his way back to eating roadkill, almost nothing of note has been happening.

So, rather than fill the rest of this column with filler about Mayweather-Marquez-Pacquiao and played-out debates on who’s better, I thought I’d take this opportunity to let everyone know what I absolutely hate about the sport of Boxing.

Here’s my list (in no particular order):

* Manny Pacquiao’s Fans (Especially the Filipino Fans)- I understand national pride- I felt the same way when the USA passed Mexico on the Swine Flu “Most Infected” list, but these Pac-fans are too much. In the past weeks I’ve read stories about Manny “easily” beating everyone from Cotto to Hopkins to Klitschko. Hell, at the Pac-land Forum, they aren’t debating about “whether” Manny can beat Mayweather, they’re debating about in which round he’ll knock Floyd out! Pacquiao is a great fighter, no doubt, but his fans need to bring things back to reality…Manny can’t beat the entire Indonesian Coast Guard and he probably would fare too well against the Nazi War Machine of World War II, either.

* Mayweather’s Mouth- If PBF could trash talk in an intelligent manner, I wouldn’t have a problem, but he sounds downright retarded sometimes and totally oblivious to the criticisms that come his way. So, Mayweather will go on and on about how a good little man will never beat a good big man despite the fact that critics are all over him for fighting Juan Manuel Marquez and, duh, Mayweather, himself, chose to fight the little man.

* Fighters from The Contender- Take a bunch of club fighters, slap them on TV and send them out into the real world with an inflated sense of self-importance and a mess of undeserved publicity. The result is crappy fighters in crappy fights wasting precious TV time that could be going to a legit class fighter.

* Catchweight fights- For crissake, fight in your own division and when you kill everyone around, then move up! If God had intended Juan Manuel Marquez to weigh 147 lbs., he would’ve given the guy a shoe size larger than single-digits.

* Strawweights- Any athlete weighing less than 105 lbs should be either on top of a horse or wearing a mask in Mexican Lucha Libre.

* Overweight Heavyweights- Any 200+ lb. athlete with rolls of fat around his belly should be wearing face paint or an Indian headdress and wrestling in the WWE.

* Interim titles, “Regular” Champs, “Super” Champs- Either you’re champ or you’re not, no in-betweens. That’s why I respect the BTBC World Rankings- They don ‘t recognize any of that BS. Being an Interim or Regular Champ is like saying that you’re just “a little” gay…No, it doesn’t work like that. You’re either a champ or a challenger…

* The Mora-Spinks Syndrome- Fighters, like Sergio Mora and Cory Spinks, who talk tough and walk to the ring with a swagger, but fight like little biaaatches.

* HBO’s Influence Over Boxing- I hate the way HBO has been allowed to dictate to fighters, promoters and sanctioing bodies. Imagine FOX telling the NFL that the Cardinals aren’t allowed to be in the Super Bowl! I just don’t trust HBO…After all, this is the network that built-up the best series ever, The Sopranos, and ended its run with the lamest ending ever!

* Every Boxing Forum, except The BTBC’s (http://www.btbc.proboards.com/) and every Boxing Blog except this one and The Blue Corner Blog (http://thebluecorner.wordpress.com/). Ok, will you get off my back now, Paul?

Well, my time is up here and I must be on my way. Cold drinks and warm ladies await.

Until next Sunday.