Manny Pacquiao and I have one big thing in common– and it’s not our ongoing love of sex with young Filipino women.
No, the boxing deity and I share a love of damaged goods. Manny loves fighting damaged fighters and I prowl dive bars looking for damaged ladies for an easy romp in my bovine headquarters.
After he does away with The Tijuana Burrito Fart, Antonio Margarito at Dallas Cowboys Stadium, a lot of sites will be printing articles about Manny’s next victim . They’ll be writing stuff about names like Floyd Mayweather, Tim Bradley, or Sergio Martinez. But anyone with more than 3 brain cells can take a quick peep on BoxRec and see Pacquiao’s pattern of opponent selection.
* 9 of Pacquiao’s 13 last fights have been against fighters coming directly off career-defining losses and/or beatings. (The exceptions being Juan Manuel Marquez, David Diaz, Jorge Solis, and Hector Velasquez).
* Bob Arum has clearly made it known that Pacquiao will be strictly an in-house fighter because, most likely, any bout with a real challenge will have to have pro-Pacquiao stipulations built into the contract.
So, given these parameters, your friendly neighborhood Madcow has made a realistic list of potential victims for the “Humble Superhero:”
Kelly Pavlik: “The Ghost” sure fits the bill of someone about to be sacrificed to Pacquiao. He’s a ruined, broken Top Rank fighter who needs the cash. Pavlik is a big boy, pushing super middleweight, so expect Team Pacquiao to ask for a nipple-drying catchweight of 152-155. Also expect WBC Pres. Jose Sulaiman to find a way to run WBC Middleweight Champ, Sergio Martinez, out of the picture to make room for a “historic” middleweight title for his favorite 7-figure sanctioning fee payer. History may also be made as Sulaiman orders a middleweight title fight to be contested below the actual minimum weight.
Yuri Foreman: The brave Foreman also fits the bill of the perfect Pacquiao foe. A Top Rank fighter who was beaten to a pulp by Miguel Cotto after sustaining a career-threatening leg injury, Foreman would likely be forced to fight at 148 and likely will be forced to sign a “no knee brace” stipulation in the contract.
Anthony Peterson: The talented lightweight’s metal breakdown vs. Brandon Rios had to put him on Team Pacquiao’s radar. Of course, Peterson would be forced up to 147. This would also count as the one token African American on Manny Pacquiao’s record.
The Winner or Loser of Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. vs. Alsonso Gomez: It doesn’t really matter. Neither is a world class fighter and neither would have a chance against Manny. Both have some name recognition. Perfect for Manny. Throw in a weight stipulation just to be safe.
Ivan Calderon: The former pound for pound talent is a surefire Hall of Fame inductee and he’s coming directly off a devastating loss. Have him add 39 lbs to his 108 lb. frame and sell him to the same shills who regularly post Top Rank press releases as news stories and to the chumps who believe them.
Of course, there’s always the chance of Pacquiao fighting a real, live opponent. The best we’d likely get from non-Top Rank opponents would be a beaten Shane Mosley or a Juan Manuel Marquez on his last legs.
But don’t count your horses on seeing “The Best Fighter of the Decade” actually fighting the best fighters of the decade.
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