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The Big, Fake Mail Sack; Magno’s Monday Rant

June 6, 2011 by Paul Magno Leave a Comment

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One of the most marvelously narcissistic concepts on boxing websites is the Mail Bag. For those unfamiliar, think hand-picked set-ups with the sole purpose of flattering and/or allowing the scribe in question to pontificate on pet issues he would be hard-pressed to bring up under normal conditions.

So, along those lines and in effort to fit in with the rest of the bunch, here’s our new Big, Fake Mail Sack feature. Enjoy!

“Selective Outrage”

Hey Paul,

I’m a big fan and love everything you do. I even bought a copy of Dante’s Inferno and a .44, just like you mentioned in your column a couple weeks back!

My question to you is why were all the major and minor sites justifying the Chavez-Zbik fight on HBO when they go so far overboard in trashing other HBO Boxing programming decisions?

Rick

Hey Rick,

I’m so glad you asked.

It’s hard to figure out why lunk-head bloggers have such a double standard. The high profile figures in the boxing media, on the other hand, always seem to be climbing into or out of somebody’s pocket. These guys carry their agendas on their sleeves and don’t even care to hide it anymore.

But scribes need to make up their mind when it comes to HBO– Is their outrage directed at the policy or the fighter, himself? Chavez-Zbik was a prime-time turd between two absolutely pedestrian fighters. It belonged buried on an undercard or on some special edition of Friday Night Fights. Yet, the water heads and/or shills promoted this clunker in their websites and blogs like it was JC Chavez – Edwin Rosario.

I read some lame brain even mention that Chavez was brought up the “old-fashioned” way, unlike the fighters who are currently featured in prime HBO slots. Like Jr. would be selling out arenas and selling any PPVs if he wasn’t the son of a legend. Left to his own devices, and without the famous last name, Jr. would be hard-pressed to fill a Mexican bingo parlor.

The only reason HBO didn’t jump all over Chavez Jr. ten fights ago was because the fan buzz was so overwhelmingly negative that even they knew it. Andre Berto gets slammed a lot and, admittedly, he’s an easy and fun target, but Chavez’s opponents make Freddy Hernandez look like Sugar Ray Leonard. And Zbik, despite being earnest in his effort, is a notch below Luis Collazo and even Carlos Quitana in terms of resume and appeal.

Chavez-Zbik should’ve been a no-brainer for those who crusade against HBO’s wicked ways. Two undeserving fighters taking a spot on prime HBO time for a fake belt…isn’t that what these guys are always railing against? Funny how it only applies to some fighters.

“Seckbach is Retarded– Retarded like a Fox”

Hey Paul,

I love everything you do and I’m also a full member of The Burger King Kid’s Club!

I was just watching some Elie Seckbach videos and came to the conclusion that he’s a real douche bag. What do you think?

Moe

Hey Moe,

It’s weird that you brought this up, I was just thinking about this!

To call Seckbach a douche bag would be an insult to douche bags. After all, a douche bag actually serves a purpose. As far as I can tell, Seckbach’s only purpose is to run interference for Top Rank and for the penny- click pan handlers who scurry in through the open doors left behind.

In his most recent video, the Nosferatu of boxing, Bob Arum, floated another stinker by claiming that Floyd Mayweather turned down $65 million from some mysterious benefactor in Singapore to fight Manny Pacquiao.

Guys like Seckbach are turning the concept of boxing news into a sham (even more so than before).

Unfortunately, he works harder than those other aspiring correspondents who claim to want things done the right way. Until a good, solid roving correspondent comes along and is willing to work harder than Seckbach, we’ll be stuck with the steaming turds that Elie regularly dishes out.

“Superstar Saul?”

Hey Paul,

I hang on your every word. You give me strength in life! Like you, I will also be moving to Mexico!

What’s your take on Saul “El Canelo” Alvarez? Is he for real? Is he a worthy world champion?

Charles

Hey Charles,

I don’t recommend you coming down at the moment. And I especially recommend against showing up at my door. I’m a Buddhist, but of the ass-kicking, gun-toting variety. As a long line of Mormon missionaries can attest to, I don’t take kindly to uninvited guests.

As for Alvarez, he’s a good prospect. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s a shame that he has to be burdened with the increasingly bogus WBC world title belt. For a twenty-year-old, Carlos Baldomir, Lovemore N´Dou, and Matthew Hatton are good developmental fights. But now that he has the belt, he’ll be forced into some tough spots and will have to either skip a few steps up the developmental ladder or let his people run interference for him and risk getting the label of being a protected champion.

He’s fighting Ryan Rhodes in two weeks and that will be a good test, maybe one he should’ve taken two or three fights from now. But, we’ll find out a lot about Alvarez. Rhodes is no world beater, but he’s a solid, natural jr. middleweight, in the prime of his career.

“Pacquiao Fan Speaks”

Hey Paul,

GAY GAY GAY! Pacquiao Rules! You are bald! Bwahahahahahaha!!!!

Pinoy Rules

Hey Rules,

Actually, this is the only real email of the bunch. I get this same message once a week from “Pinoy Rules.” You have to admire consistency.

You can email Paul at paulmagno@theboxingtribune.com, follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/boxing BTBC or check him out as he giddily goes through hateful emails from other writers. Paul is a full member of the Burger King Kid’s Club.



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Paul Magno on Email
Paul Magno
Paul Magno
Paul Magno has over thirty-five years of experience in and around the sport of boxing and has had his hand in everything, from officiating to training. As a writer, his work has appeared in Yahoo Sports, Fox Sports, Inside Fights, The Boxing Tribune, Fight Hype, Man Cave Magazine, Bleacher Report, and The Queensberry Rules.

Filed Under: Featured, Opinion Tagged With: Elie Seckbach, HBO, Julio Cesar Chavez Jr., Saul Alvarez, Sebastian Zbik

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