by Ted Sares
“There is something about this freak show that spells “one big payday and it’s over…
I don’t begrudge any fighter making a good payday, when he has earned it!!!” —Poster named Jack on Boxing.com
“…I did what I did today because it’s personal and because heavyweight boxing sucks thanks to Wladimir himself and his wack ass brother with they boring ass flights. Yeah Vitali he won a fight against me. With one arm. And he couldn’t stop nor drop me. One arm for twelve and that was light”–Briggs
Kimbo Slice was no slice of cake and after a number of highly suspicious knockouts in which he snatched victories from defeats with “breathtaking, albeit contrived drama,” his boxing career may finally have run its course. See: http://deadspin.com/5896373/kimbo-slice-lands-a-very-suspicious-knockout
In an embarrassing display of boxing involving no skill and not much stamina in January 2013, Kevin Ferguson (aka Kimbo Slice) moved his record to 7-0 with a body shot KO over obese Aussie Shane Tilyard down under (pun intended). Tilyard is terribly limited. So is Kimbo Slice who went toe-to-toe and chin-to-chin with the short Aussie and was almost taken out by a big left-right-left volley in the first round. In fact, it should have been ruled a knockdown as a wobbly Slice was clearly kept up by the ropes. Tilyard also battered and further exposed Slice at the end of round. However, Slice finally waxed Shane with a short but sharp left hook shot to Tilyard’s ample right side.
Slice will not get a big payday, even though some of his KO’s were as “spectacular” as those of Mark Gastineau’s during the former Jet’s dubious boxing career between 1991 and 1996. But Gastineau, when allowed to fight a legitimate (i.e., non-suspicious) opponent in the form of Alonzo Highsmith (15-0-1), was totally savaged and exposed in little over one round. It was brief but it still was one of the very worst displays of boxing in recent memory as Gastineau turned his back on Highsmith several times only to be pummeled ruthlessly. Alonzo simply finished what Tim Anderson started back in 1982. Thankfully, Gastineau never got a big payday. See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=movtSx1mPYk
“The Cannon”
Skill-wise, Shannon Briggs is in a different solar system than Slice and Gastineau. He is now making a comeback after having been slaughtered and hospitalized by Vitali Klitschko in October 2010. In so doing, he is crafting a new persona that hopefully will pave the way to a big payday fight and restore some badly needed funds. While quickly dispatching three human punching bags–the last two in 50 seconds combined–Briggs has shed his dreadlocks, gotten himself into what appears to be great, though untested, physical shape, and was able to cause a newsworthy ruckus at Wlad Klitschko’s training camp before the Leapai laugher in which he threw a shoe as well as a fake tantrum
Watching the unranked Cannon supposedly losing his cool in this gym ambush was bile-inducing. See: http://media.theage.com.au/sport/sports-hq/shannon-briggs-loses-cool-tshirt-5369764.html
Briggs’s quest for money should require him to fight a name opponent at the level of say Carlos Takam, Lucas Brown, Christian Hammer, Chris Arreola, Andy Ruiz Jr., Vyacheslav Glazkov, Mike Perez, Tony Thompson, or even Alex Leapai, but what he wants is to leapfrog them and get it on with Wladimir.
Horrific Francisco “Taz” Mireles, the toothless Maurenzo “Gator” Smith, and the hapless Matthew Greer are simply opponents designed to add more first round KO’s to Briggs’s record until such time that he can claim that he is being “ducked.” But these “opponents” should entitle the Cannon to nothing more than the tiny paydays these blowouts undoubtedly yield. Indeed, watching Shannon dispatch the 286 pound slab of fat Mireles in 27 seconds at the Black Bear Casino in Carleton, Minnesota with some kind of mysterious left slap to Mireles’s blubbery stomach was reminiscent of watching Slice and Gastineau do their thing—and their thing was ugly.
Briggs must earn his way. We know that he can’t do what Vitali Klitschko did when he came back after a 4-year hiatus and stopped Samuel Peter, but at least he can go up against someone that will fight back. Serious boxing fans deserve nothing less.
Ted Sares is a private investor who enjoys writing about boxing. He also is a member of the Ring 4 International Boxing Hall of Fame and a member of Ring 10. A member of both the RAW and the Elite Powerlifting Federations, Ted is one of the oldest active competitors in the world and holds several state records.
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