Hola familia y amigos, welcome to a 16-bit flavored edition of Panama City’s highest rated, most money-squandering proper pugilistic paper, The Sunday Brunch – We’re more filling than a Julio Cesar Chavez Jr’s post-victory Applebee’s celebration dinner. This week we are bringing you five of your favorite boxers and in plain English, we’re breaking down whether or not you will be seeing Floyd Mayweather square off against them for his 49th fight (…or his 50th). Hold on to your Everlast boxing gloves and purchase one of those metal things you strap on to your fat gut that leaves impressions to make it you look like you have abs…we’re about to sort through this nonsense. With that being said, I gave you your instructions in the dressing room; what I say you must obey – Cuidate, escucha me, toca los manos y buena suerte…Let’s get it on!
Andre Berto
With a recent surge of attention for a social media post reading “I am happy to be in the running for this fight and am definitely up for the challenge”, Andre Berto has catapulted himself into the public spotlight. It’s interesting how such a vague message can spark so many conversations about Floyd Mayweather’s “farewell” fight.
Andre Berto would make an interesting ‘safe’ partner for Floyd Mayweather’s next bout, which is heavily rumored to be free of charge. Considering how many people tuned into his last fight with Manny Pacquiao at $100 a pop, the audience for this supposed final match will be huge.
Against a boxer like Berto, Mayweather would easily control all 12 rounds, but the Haitian American possesses enough athleticism to put on a very convincing and entertaining show for the casual fans that will comprise most of the viewing audience. Andre Berto tends to become increasingly wild as a fight progresses, especially when he’s being actively pressured, a razor sharp Mayweather will stop Berto’s charge inside of the distance.
Manny Pacquiao
When Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao finally met inside of the squared circle, many people were surprised how poorly the Filipino fireball performed. Other people, who perhaps have a more well-rounded understanding of the sport could see an impending shutout coming for 6 years.
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that Floyd Mayweather is looking to “retire” – like he did after defeating Ricky Hatton in 2007 – and come back for a 50th fight with the one person who made him the most money in his incredibly lucrative career, Manny Pacquiao.
Keith Thurman
The 26 year-old Keith Thurman has had an impressive run through the second tier of the welterweight division so far. Only in his last fight, a step-up bout against veteran, Luis Collazo were some of his faults publicly discovered.
Thurman would make for an interesting pairing with Floyd Mayweather insofar as his vaunted power is real and his hunger is undeniable. The problem he would encounter would come from Mayweather’s understanding of distance. The relatively green fighter would likely be taking several trips to the canvas without really landing much of his own on the ageing master.
This is one fight that fans will not get to see due to the risk/reward ratio which is overwhelmingly a ‘little to gain, everything to lose’ type scenerio.
Amir Khan
The lighting-fast Bolton Brit, Amir Khan not only has a massive fan base overseas, but he’s a world class boxer with a suspect chin. Khan is a perfect foil for Floyd Mayweather. A clash at one of England’s massive football pitches/stadiums with nearly one hundred thousand bloodthirsty fans would be the perfect final fight for Floyd Mayweather .
Canelo Alvarez
The massively popular Mexican had a poor showing against Mayweather back in 2013. That night Floyd Mayweather made several highlight reels even shinier with his incredible defense, often standing directly in front of the 25 year-old junior middleweight and making him miss nearly every punch.
There’s no doubt that a rematch with Canelo would be highly lucrative, intense and worth the price of admission. Multiply that by 100 if the fight is hosted in Mexico’s historic Estadio Azteca, which has ties to boxing (Julio Cesar Chavez fought in front of a staggering 132,247 people there).
Think I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about? Have a problem with one of my references? Think my jokes suck? Leave us a comment below! The best post will receive a free gift card to Outback Steakhouse (Valid only in Australia).
Thanks for tuning in, we’ll be back next week when we are hosting a classic SpaghettiOs challenge – first one to fifty wins! We will have a good ol’ fashioned Baby Ruth smelling competition and if there’s time some boxing-related quips, zingers, knick knacks and possibly paddy wacks. “Did you think I’d be too stupid to know what a eugoogly is?” Sante.
Leave a Reply